Greg Morris

Cross posting like there is no tomorrow

Trying To Make Friends As An Adult Sucks

If the last two years(ish) has taught me anything, it’s that I love working from home. I have been happier, able to get more work done and also be more engaged with home life than ever before. There are a few things I miss from working with people in person, but on the whole I love it — but I’m lonely.

I am not sure what sparked me thinking about the interaction I have, of which I do have quite a lot, but the realisation is that I have very few friends. Don’t get me wrong, I have people in my life that I care about outside my family, but I don’t have any close-knit friends like I used to when I was a kid.

I’ve given up attempting to make them too because it’s almost impossible as an adult.

I don’t even know where to start, I miss the times when my motivation to be friends was that the person lived vaguely close to me. Shared similar interests as me, or just went to the same school. Whereas now, everyone I speak to has busy lives, and we all carve very little time for just being friendly.

Unfortunately, it could be a major cause of depression. Certainly, the root cause outlined in a large portion of Johann Hari TED talk is this lack of connection I feel. Online tools, and smartphone are great, they give me at least a sense of what I am missing, but can’t replace real connection. There is no excuse not to reach out to those in your life, but nothing replaces an in-person chat, or a hug.

There is an inbuilt, perhaps masculine, trait I have to accept that I don’t need or won’t ever have friends. It leads to feeling further away from the people I am forced to interact with because they are in my circle, but I really want to try. I just don’t know where to start. Do all adults feel like this?