I often catch myself in a relentless loop of introspection, pondering over the endless whys of my thoughts and actions. This internal dialogue leads me down a path where I’m labeled by some as overly anxious or neurotic, fixated on the trivial. Yet, there are those who share this penchant for self-questioning, albeit more quietly, to avoid seeming eccentric.
This habit of constant reflection, I’ve realised, is not just a quirk but a pathway to deeper self-understanding. It aligns with the Stoic philosophy I admire, particularly Socrates' idea that “An unexamined life is not worth living.” By scrutinising my motives and actions, I strive to ensure they are in harmony with my values and beliefs, not merely a passive existence.
However, life in 2024 complicates this introspection with its demand for an online presence. Without real-life friends and unable to disconnect from social media, I’m caught in a dual struggle. This digital entanglement, a reflection of my inability to sever ties with social media, remains a challenge despite numerous attempts to overcome it.
The advice I often encounter is to simply “not worry about it” yet this feels dismissive of the underlying issues. It overlooks the complexity of seeking understanding and personal growth in a world where online and offline lives are increasingly intertwined. This journey is about more than just worrying; it’s about navigating the nuances of solitude and connection in the digital age, striving for a life that truly reflects who I am.
It has been approximately three days since I began craving a step back from the web, choosing to remove Mastodon from my life to concentrate on being more present in the world and working more deeply than I have in a long time. I won’t go into the reasons, but it is safe to say the benefits are already starting to show themselves, as well as the downsides.
Curiously, this isn’t the first time I have experienced this strange phenomenon. Back in 2022, when I first deactivated Twitter and before I adopted Mastodon, I went through a stage of picking up my phone with nothing to do with it, only to place it back down again. I found myself opening new tabs and typing in social.lol before realising there was no need to go there anymore, so I clicked the x a few seconds later. For all the good effects that this has had on me—and they are great—I do feel as isolated as I did back then due to low levels of interaction.
There is no solution to these feelings because there is nothing to solve. There is nothing wrong with being bored, and if it motivates me to do something more constructive instead, then all the better. It just would be nice to be able to use social media without wasting loads of my time on it. An issue that is entirely mine; I can’t even blame the algorithm with Mastodon. I just have a personality that is attracted to that kind of stuff.
Om Malik, with a surprisingly popular, if reductive, take on social media:
If our parents were not around, we saw a lot of movies (on VCRs) or binged on television. When cable came around, it was all MTV all the time. Today, the same kids are on the ‘medium’ of their generation – the Internet and its many forms.
Combined with another post, Om gave a very measured and often cited summation of thoughts on the modern social web. Mainly predicting a coming demise in its appeal, and taking an approach that can only be summarised as “the kids are alright.” In fact, between these two articles, Om falls onto both sides of the social media argument that has recently raised its head again following Jonathan Haidt’s book.
It is worth noting that these posts are from 2023, and opinions could have changed in that time, but Matter surfaced this highlight today, and it seemed very appropriate. This could be my cognitive bias, or it could be the smartphone algorithm tailoring the content to keep me engaged - but, unlike social platforms, there’s no advantage for Matter to keep me engaged with their platform.
This is where the comparison of all the historical things that ‘educated’ kids in the past falls down. You cannot, in good faith, point to radio, television, MTV, films, or your old Super Nintendo as worthy comparisons to spending hours a day on modern social platforms. If you allow me to make a sweeping generalisation, I don’t expect anyone to look back on their childhood wasted on TikTok with the same fondness that many adults look back on their childhood follies now.
There were indeed countless hours wasted on activities in decades gone by, but not many of them (none?) were developed solely to keep you engaged with them to the detriment of the world around you. No doubt, some people wasted an unhealthy amount of time playing games or consuming other passive entertainment in their youth, but nothing compares to today’s epidemic.
There’s a tendency for some to write this off as the latest moral panic. Yet, the level of research that suggests strong links to mental health issues and social media, or the sheer amount of anecdotal evidence pointing to the same idea, is unparalleled. I could point to the research presented in Jordan’s book “The Anxious Generation,” but that has already been dismissed as cherry-picking by people looking to appraise the ideas presented. However, you simply have to make a cursory search for the science, and things become clear.
The lies presented by these platforms to connect people and make the world closer together, combined with the very real benefits of the web, seem to cloud people’s opinions. Yet, you can somewhat understand the pushback. We don’t like admitting that we have lost control and can be manipulated so easily, and it’s fairly easy to trot out users that advocate for the use of social media from their various positive experiences. It can be hard to accept that something that promised so much and ended up having a negative effect on the world has been allowed to happen. The people that built these things designed them from start to finish to disrupt and dominate our minds, and for some people, that is too much to take in.
Yet with all this said, there’s also a certain amount of responsibility we all must take. I am one for downgrading my phone or making myself go without things to curb my usage, but still firmly believe that is it our fault too. The algorithm doesn’t make you do anything you don’t want to, and it’s fairly easy to break free with a little will power.
I’ve realised I need a break from the digital world. Not a complete detachment—after all, avoiding the web entirely is nearly impossible—but I must recalibrate how I’m spending my time online. Since 2019, after moving on from Twitter, I haven’t really found my footing. Mastodon, while offering a different platform, often serves as a diversion from engaging with the world directly.
Hence, I’ve decided to step back for a while. This decision isn’t for attention or to make a statement; it’s more like setting a milestone for myself, a reminder of this moment in time. I’ve taken similar pauses before and likely will again. However, I rarely evaluate whether these breaks truly make a difference in my life.
Maybe the pressures of life are just becoming too overwhelming, and a short hiatus will rejuvenate me. Yet, at this moment, I can’t foresee a quick return. Instagram remains the only social platform I’m holding onto, despite my desire to leave it behind as well. I haven’t found a suitable alternative for sharing my photographs. With plans to capture more everyday moments using my GRiiix, perhaps my blog will become the primary outlet for these expressions.
This feels like a mid-life crisis, as I struggle to understand where I, a 40-year-old, fit into the online world. The answer seems to be “everywhere and nowhere.” The connections I made on Twitter in my late 20s haven’t been replicated elsewhere, despite my efforts on platforms like micro.blog and Mastodon. Currently, there’s a lot I’m unsure about. Yet, one thing remains clear: I will continue to write and share my thoughts on my blog, I hope you follow along.
Following my previous post, where I discussed how certain tasks seem too easy, it’s equally important to identify opportunities to simplify our lives for the better. When tackling any task, whether mundane or complex, the desire to complete it must surpass the energy required. This includes considering the task’s relevance and potential outcomes.
However, this might sound a bit redundant, so let’s revisit the two examples from my last post: getting out of bed to perform daily routines and responding to social media posts. Your motivation to leave the comfort of your bed can fluctuate significantly, influenced by various factors such as work obligations, caring for dependents, and maintaining personal routines. These motivations drive us to complete necessary daily tasks with minimal fuss.
Naturally, it’s more comfortable to stay in bed, but it’s also straightforward to get up and start your day. On an individual level, though the effort required is low and the motivation high, the significance of the outcomes in your life is profound. Neglecting daily responsibilities can lead to immediate and noticeable consequences.
Now, let’s consider responding to a social media post. As previously mentioned, this task is overly simple, allowing users to quickly tap a button and share their thoughts with minimal effort. I believe adding complexity to this process, such as requiring a more thoughtful response posted on one’s blog, could balance the effort with the desire to engage. While it might not eliminate all frivolous responses, it could significantly reduce them.
The primary motivation behind this post is my experience with blogging. I’ve made the process more complex than necessary. While Eleventy (11ty) suits my learning style and offers great flexibility, publishing content is not as straightforward as platforms like WordPress or micro.blog. This complexity reduces my posting frequency since I now require significant motivation to write and publish, leading to many potential posts remaining in Apple Notes.
It’s disappointing, but perhaps this added complexity is necessary.